Y’all I am over the MOON EXCITED to announce that I will now be working with Beachwaver Co. You can use my code: KENDRAWAVE at check out to save 10%.

If you haven’t heard of them you are missing out. They sale the best curling iron (personal and pro), styling iron, hair care, bushes, accessories, and lots more.

I love my S1 curling iron!! It the best hair tool I have ever used. I have super Thick Fine Hair! Yes you read that right, my hair is both thick and fine at the same time. Curls usually never hold. But not when I use my beachwaver, my curls last of days.

Its so easy to use as well!! I hated curling my hair with a normal iron and the wands was not for me at all. I would always go the wrong way and have this weird flip thing on the end of my hair. Not with my S1 you just clip the end of your hair and press the arrow pointing away from your face. Unclip and hit the home button then repeat all over your hair. See super easy!!! They are lot of barrel sizes to fit every hair length and style. They offer Certified Open Box Beachwaver at a discounted price. When a Beachwaver iron is returned, they open each box and each iron passes a quality assurance inspection. The irons may be cosmetically imperfect, but are certified good as new!  You can’t bet that!!

Go check them out. I promise you will love them!! beachwaver.glg9ob.net/kendrawave

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This blog post contains affiliate links.

I’m going to try a little something different today!!! So I went to Old Navy and tried on a few things. Some I loved and brought, others I put back lol. So sorry the pictures are bad. I total forgot to take pictures of each outfit when I had them on so I had to screen shot the videos haha. I will put the normal prices under each picture. All jeans and outer wear are 50% off right now!! These would make great holiday outfits. Black Friday and Cyber week is coming up and the sales will be great then too. The video is saved in my highlights on my Instagram page (https://www.instagram.com/southernmamaofone17/)

Have you ever been told you aren’t the person you used to be? Have you ever felt like you lost yourself along the way in life? Do you just feel like something is missing in your life?

The person I am today I can now admit that I was lost long before I even realized  I was.  I was lost in being a wife way before I ever even thought of becoming a mom. I was so forced on working on my marriage, we went through a very hard. We were growing up and had to make major life decisions to better us and our future family. When we where finally in a great place again we had decided to finally begin our family and that didn’t go as we planed at all. (I promise I’ll write more on that soon its a whole blog by itself)  

The stress of trying to start a family and going through years of it just not happening was starting to really take its tole on me and who I was becoming.

At the end of September 2014 I found out I was finally pregnant.  Within 48 hours of finding out I was already starting to miscarry that baby.  That was the worst time for me in my life. I was depressed for months.  I was LOST. I would stay in bed.  I didn’t know why it had to happen to me.  What did I do wrong.  What was the lesson I was meant to learn from this?  Raymond, my family and my friends were very supportive throughout this time. 

Two weeks before Christmas (that same year) I woke up and just felt the need to go to church.  I got dressed and went to the church that I had grow up in.  This was the start of me finding myself again.  I went back slowly at first and then more and more.  After a while I joined a new women’s bible study. That was the beginning of me really starting to see that either I was lost. Or was I changing?

It started to get easier when I would hear that someone else I knew was pregnant.  A few years pasted and we were still trying to have a baby. I was trying to not let the the medicine get the best of me because it had in the past.  We had talk about adoption and even got a last minute call asking if we wanted to adopt a set of twin boy,  but who has the amount that they wanted for adoption just laying around.  Not us for sure, this just throw me right back into my depression. I had to really fight now to let myself get lost again. I had come so far.  Then a few shorts months laters we found out we were pregnant!

Pregnancy was the best and was so easy and natural for me.  I was coming into myself for sure.  After Connor was born in September 2017. I truly was in the happiest time of my life.  Being a mom was the best and I was made to be a mom. I nursed him for a little over a year.  I had gotten my happiness back for sure.  But was I back to being myself or was I becoming the next new me?

My New Year goal for 2019 was to get back to being not just a wife and a mom but to being me.  I started taking care of myself more.  I got my hair cut and colored, and I got a facial. I really started to feel like me again. Finally I went clothes shopping for myself to get spring and summer clothes that would fit me.  It felt nice to get dressed and ready.  I was never really a make up person.  I never really had to wear it for work or anything so I used to only wear it to church or if we had some place to go.  I began to try out new things and found that wearing makeup made me feel I was put together and cute. Even Raymond began to see that I was happier when I would spend the time to fix myself like I call it lol.  That lead to my Instagram page and now this blog. I find that with me being a happier person that it has lead to my family being happy. I’ve also learned to speak my mind about things that are bring me back down. If I’m happy and in a great mood it helps put Connor and Raymond in a happy mood too.

I need to remind myself that I am still me. Taking my Fridays while Connor is at school to just myself or to spent time with Raymond when he is home is a great help.  I can’t say that I won’t fall back into that rut but I can say that I will try to not go back.  I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again.  Being a mom is a full time job and you have to remember not to get lost in it.  I try to treat myself to a $6 coffee at lest once a week.  Don’t have the extra money? Not a problem use your treat yourself as time. Your time is special, even if it’s just a relaxing bath after the little ones are asleep. I love looking at other mom’s stories about how they deal with the day to day struggle of being a mom.  It my time to myself after Connor is asleep.  This blog has also become something I look forward to doing.  I know this is only the third one but taking the time to write out ideas of what I want to talk about and different points to put in it is very peaceful. Sharing things I use, a sale I find,  or just want is going on in our life on Instagram is quickly becoming a daily thing that I love to do. I recently did a giveaway and I had so much fun with it.  I got to show my followers my bubbly side. I love when people I’ve known for years stop me and tell me that they see me changing and how happy I’ve been lately.  Those small simple compliments make me feel so great and really helps me to know I am on the right path.

Finding yourself will not be the same path I had.  I found mind was when I gave it all to God.  I prayed about it and He pointed me down the road I’m on today.  I’m hoping that my path will lead me down new roads with my blog and Instagram.  My biggest hope is my path will lead my family down a road of loving, fun, great family memories for years to come.  Your path will be different from mine and that’s not wrong its just your path.  You’ll find different ways to help guide you back to yourself.  Keep in mind that when you are happy your family will be happy as well.  Find what is right for you and your family.  No matter the stage you are in: trying to be a mom, new mom, full swing mom, empty nest mom, or grandma.  If you are lost reach out to someone and really try to find your happy again. 

So the question still remains, was I lost or was I changing?  I say it is both.  I was lost in so many ways, but being lost changed me.  I am still me.  I am still that loud, fun, loving, caring, hard working person.  Just know I’m a little happier, stronger, and more put together.  

I am soooooo excited to announce that I am working with Mila Rae Boutique.(https://milaraeboutique.com)  You can use my code: SouthernMama20 at check out for 20% off of your order!!!

This super cute family owned boutique is out of Texas.  Their customer service has been amazing.  I first placed an order with them a few months back. When I emailed them to let them know I forgot to change the email on the order from Raymond’s to mine they fixed it right away.  I soon got e-mail from them apologizing that one of the tops I ordered had become backordered.  Once it was in the sent out another e-mail letting me know it was on its way and for the hold up they had added a gift to my package for having to wait longer then normal.  See you guys awesome customer service.  

I was so excited when I got to work with them.  Y’all this is my first discount code for a clothing company.  The quality of the items I have received from them is amazing.  The prices are very reasonable.  They get new arrivals all the time!! 

So go check them out and shop.  Use my code: SouthernMama20  You can see how I styled and why I love these tops saved in my Highlights on my Instagram. You can find a link to my Instagram linked on the home page! Find them on Instagram and Facebook to keep up with their new arrivals and how others style their clothes from them.  

My plan after finding out I was pregnant was to not go back to work at all. I was all about being a stay at home mom.  When I told my bosses the good news, they said “well we have 9 months to find and train your replacement.”  I worked until the beginning of September, because it was my due month.  I am lucky enough that we could afford for me to stay home with Connor.  I was fully wrapped up in being a mom.  Let’s be honest being a new mom is a FULL time job, being a mom in general is a full time job.  With Connor being streaky breastfeed, I was getting very little sleep and time alone.  Even though I have an amazing husband that would fully take on all things baby, but feedings, when he was home. It was only a few days at a time.  Raymond would come home for 2-3 days then it was back to work for 7-10 days at a time.  His first night home every time was the hardest because he himself was running on very little sleep from the job they were on at the time. Even with all of that I still had no plans on going back to work. I was going to be that mom.  I wanted to be that mom that helped out at all of the school events.  The mom that drives all of the team to and from games.  Yes, I had big plans for being a stay at home mom.

When Connor was around 6 months old, he finally took a bottle. The trick was it had to be fresh and I couldn’t be in the room at all.  It was nice to just be able to go to Wal-Mart by myself. So, when Connor was about 7 months old, I went in to work for a day while my bosses went to a school. What made it possible for me to be okay with me leaving him for a day was that I knew he was in good hands with his Nanny. (A Nanny is what we in the south call our Godmothers.) I must have texted her every 10 minutes to check on him. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get that much work done. After that they asked me if I wanted to come back to work part time. Raymond and I talked about it.  Connor would learn some social skills, learn how to feed without me, I would get some adult time, I had someone I trusted to watch him, and the extra money would be great to have again.  I’ve always worked.  My paycheck was our extra play money.  It’s what we would go out to eat with, put gas in the boat with, and just spend on extra stuff we may have wanted.  So that little extra money would be nice to have again.  Me going back to work was something I wanted to do but was also scared to do. It started out just 2 days a week for just a few hours a day. I think I cried the whole first week and checked on him 100 times a day.  By summer I was working 4 days a week still just a few hours a day.  Connor’s Nanny would keep him when Raymond was on the boat.  She is a stay at home mom herself and she enjoyed the time with him and the extra money too.  Yes, I paid her.  She was taking time out of her day and away from her kids to help take care of mine.  I know he was in very good hands with her, she loved him as if he was hers.  Raymond would keep him the weeks he was home.  It quickly became their time.  It was our routine and it worked. I still didn’t have time alone to myself though.  I really felt like I was going a little crazy at times. 

This went on for about a year.  Connor was about to turn two and they had an opening in the two-year-old program at a local private school. We decided that it was going to be the best thing for him.  He would be around children his own age, he would be learning, and they help potty train (which is a big deal in my book haha.)  He was used to being dropped off at his Nanny’s so being dropped off at school wasn’t a big deal for him. He went with ease and loves being there with his new friends.

I was used to only working four days a week and schools was going to be five days a week, with Fridays be a short day.  The new decision was to work five days a week or take time for myself.  It had been two years scene I had Kendra time.  I had already started my Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/southernmamaofone17/) page and was really loving doing it. The choose was easy! Momma was taking her few hours on that one day a week all to herself.  This is my time to go to my appointments, clean the house without someone making a mess behind me, shop in peace, or just be alone and nap. It was even time for Raymond and I to just be together alone. 

Going back to work was not an easy choose to make but I’m very glad I did.  Not only did I go back to work, but I went back and started doing a different job. I’m learning new things and getting to be more hands on with the machine side of things along with still helping out with the office when I’m needed. I have amazing bosses that understand when I need to take time off for my son.  I missed two weeks when Connor had the flu, they called every day to check on him.  Having understanding bosses who loves me and my son like family sure helped make it easy to go back.

Going back to work may not be as easy for every mom.  Some mom may have to go back to work even though they don’t want too. Some mom may be ready to go back right away.  Just remember that you are you and the chooses that are right for me and my family are not going to be what is right for you and your family.  If you have a great spouse that helps out or even just someone you trust with your child it does make the transition easier on all parts. I’m not here to tell you to go back to work. I’m just saying it may not be easy at first, but it will get better and it may even be the best thing for you and your child. If you choose to be a stay at home mom, then that is amazing.  Being at home taking care of your family is a full-time job too. There is no right or wrong choose between the two.  There is just that right choose for you and only you know what that may be. Do what is best for you and your family. For me going back to work was the right choose at that time and in the future things may change.  I at lest know that I will be okay with either. I’m at a job that I love and know that when the time comes for field trips or sports events my bosses will be understanding as to why I must go. I’m around adults and I get to have alone time to help me keep from losing myself again.