Hurry hurry hurry sale ends 12/31 and you don’t want to miss out!! Shop through my link http://beachwaver.glg9ob.net/kendrawave

Check out their certified open boxes to save on all of their curling irons!! 

This blog post contains affiliate links.

I can’t believe that 2019 is almost over. This past year has brought so much change into our lives. I went back to work more then I had planned. Connor started school and is loving it. Raymond finally got on a schedule again after many years of just working crazy times. I started my instagram and this blog. Which has helped me grow as a mom, wife and woman. We got our very first new boat. We have learned that Toy Story is life in our house with Connor. After 15 1/2 years with Abby we had to say goodbye just a few days ago. We are still trying to get adjusted to our home without her here. I sure there is more I am forgetting but these are the things that stick out to me the most.

2020 is looking to be another great year for us. I can’t wait to see where this road will bring me with my blog. I pray that I can keep writing things that mean something to me and can help others. I ‘m looking forward to seeing how much Connor will grow. He is learning so much already. He’ll be fully talking soon and we’ll finally understand what he is really saying haha. We’ll finally have time to do more family outings. Maybe even a new puppy is in the plans for us. Whatever it will be I know that it will work out because we give it to God.

With Christmas Eve being today it just has me thinking about how even thought this is Connor’s third Christmas, this is his first that he hopeful get excited about it. So far he has enjoyed all the lights and the few gifts he has gotten. The excitement on his face will surely make this our best Christmas yet. We don’t get to spend every Christmas with Raymond because of his job, but this year we do. Having my little family together is just what I asked for. It’s not about the gifts under the tree or whats in the stockings. It’s about watching the joy on Connor’s face, spending time together, and remember that this season is about Christ and his birth.

My wish for each and everyone of you is to find peace in this season. Spend time with those you love. Wrap yourself with the love of family and friends. I pray that those of you going through hard times will see that light and know that it soon will get better with the power of God in your life. The holidays aren’t always bright and shiny like we wish it would be. But know that Christ sees you are will help guide you if you just ask him too.

When we are at church this evening and they turn out all the lights, we’ll sing “Silent Night” over candle light. The Peace and Joy that will over come our church and ours hearts will be there to show us that this is reason for today and tomorrow.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your hearts be light. From now on our troubles will be out of sight.” From our family to yours!!

I promised ya’ll a stocking stuff guide so here it is!!! Its a mix of everything or everyone!! A few things I always put in ours that’s not on this list is: new toothbrushes, deodorant, razors, makeup, a movie, gift cards and our favorite candies. I really hope this helps you find a few things to fill those stockings. Everything is from amazon with most of them being prime to get in time for Christmas!! I tried to keep every thing under $30.

This blog post contains affiliate links.

Like most little girls I always loved playing baby dolls because I got to be mommy.  Kids were always a joy to be around.  When I was 13 I became an aunt to twin girls, they were my real life baby dolls. I knew being a mom was what I was meant to be in life.  During high school there was a good number of girls every year having babies.  I thought at that time I was ready to be a mom.  Not my smartest years lol.  But God knew better and never let that happen. You must be thinking what does any of that have to do me becoming a mom at the age of 30?  Well the journey really began then.  

When in high school I had the worse problems when it can to my cycle.  I would get very sick. I would just run out of class to the restroom. I even had teachers call my mom to ask her if I was pregnant. This was every month all month.  I would be on my cycle for 2-3 weeks at a time.  At times I was on the shot and the pill. My cramps would be so bad that I would have to ball myself up to help calm them down.  This went on for years.  

Like I said when in high I thought I was ready and even right out of high school too.  The boyfriend I had at that time was already a dad, so we tried to have our own.  Nothing ever happened.  Looking back now I’m glad it didn’t happen.  (so glad he isn’t in my life – trouble for sure lol)  

Raymond and I started dating January 2007, by March we had moved in together.  Around August that same year we joked with my mom and told her we wanted to get married before the end of the year. To our surprise she was all about it.  That night we talked about really getting married but knew that it wasn’t going to before the year was up.  May 03,2008 we said “I Do.” I swear from that day forward I should have started charging people a dollar every time they would ask us, “When are you going to have a baby?” I would be so rich hahaha.  I was 20 and Raymond was 24 when we got married. Most of our friends already had kids, but we knew we wanted to wait a little while.  Our plan was to buy a house, get our finances in order, and then have a baby.  We brought our home in 2009.  A few years went by and we finally said “let’s try for a baby.”  So to the doctors I went.  He had already knew about the problems I have with my cycle.  This was also the time that the HPV test and vaccines were coming out.  I got tested because it was suggested by my doctor just to be safe.  My test came back that I did have a form of HPV.  The form I have can cause cancer and infertility.  Those are two words no 22 year old wants to hear come from her doctor.  This is where our journey really took a turn.  

I wasn’t going to let that get to me.  My doctor told me just because I have the chase of these problems doesn’t mean that I will have them.  So I got off of my birth control and we just let it be.  At about 6 months of trying I started having these huge cyst.  I was in the worse pain. I had a check up to see what was going on.  He could tell that the paint i was having was because one of the cysts had popped.  With the amount of fluid it had to have been a very big cyst.  He also found a second one that was the size of a golfball.  Most doctors do not consider it an infertile issue until a year of trying, but with my past cycle problems, the HPV, and now the big cyst we had reason for conciser.  

I started talking Clomid and Dopamine (I believe that was the name if them) to try and boost my chances.  The clomid really got to my emotions, poor Raymond.  We ran hormone level test.  We made sure my tubes weren’t blocked.  We even would do shot boosters to help.  After about another year of trying it was time to stop the meds and give my body a break.  A few months went by.  I started to feel a little different. I never thought much of it when I would miss my cycle because sometimes I would be a week to two weeks late.  When after realizing I was almost a month late I started to notices that my boobs where hot. So after work one night I took a best.  It was September 30, 2014.  I will never forget that.  I will also never forget the look on Raymond’s face when I told him. I went that next morning to do blood work to make sure. While getting ready to go to dinner for Raymond’s birthday we got the call that I was pregnant but only about 3 week according to my levels.  Before we even left for dinner I started to spot.  Raymond wanted so bad to tell his family the good news, but I didn’t want to.  I was so scared due to the spotting, but I hadn’t told him about it.  The whole dinner I would get up and go check myself.  By the time we got home I had to tell him because it was getting heaver.   Around 4 am that morning I woke up to this pain I can’t begin to tell you about.  I went right to the bathroom and what I found looked as if someone had put a big piece of lever in my hand.  I knew what this meant.  Waking up your husband on his birthday to tell him he has to take you to the doctors for that reason is so hard. 

As I explained in my last blog that was the beginning of my lost time.  I waited about 6 months before I was ready to start trying again.  During that time my doctor told me he was going to be retiring so I had to find a new OBGYN.  The doctor I choose to go with was very good at his job., he came very highly recommend by a number of family and friends.  One of my friends even seen him while she was having trouble getting pregnant. One of the reason I choose him was because he had a friend he would consult with.  She would let him know all of the things he could do in his office before sending his patients to her.  We started the Clomid and another drug (I can’t remember the name) again.  We would check every few days during pike time and I would get a boost shot to help the eggs release.  He even finally got Raymond to agree to go get checked to make sure it wasn’t him.  Which it wasn’t, that man had super spam. Another year and a half went by and we where finally at the time we knew I needed to go see the specialist.  

We decided we need to take time and weight all of our options.  Should we go to the specialist or do we adopt?  October 2016 we were asked about adopting two boys, but money was tight and it wasn’t an option. Adoption and IVF are both very expansive.  How would we could up with that kind of money? We looked into personal loans, refinancing our home, and even thought about asking our family for help.  We choose to take it one step at a time.  First we needed to call the specialist and book the consult to talk with her.  So once the first of the year came around we had our plan as to what we would do with our tax return.  We enjoyed our Christmas, New Year, and a visit from family!  January 14, 2017 I was at work when my app dinged and asked why I hadn’t marked my cycle yet?  I got to thinking!  Why am I late? Why are my boobs hot?  I came home and Raymond said “don’t stress let’s enjoy our weekend. The weather is perfect.”  So that’s what we did, we enjoyed our weekend.  But come Monday January 16, 2017 I couldn’t wait to pee on that stick.  Those two pink lines was the best thing in the world.  When I called my doctor to get in for blood work his accents laughed and told me I was the third patient with infertility issues to call that morning with a positive pregnancy test.  The excitement was out of this world. All of my numbers were super high and everything looked great.  

Looking at it in writing it doesn’t look like much.  But there was countless nights of me crying myself to sleep or just because I didn’t know what else to do.  Forced smiles when others would announce their amazing news of a baby.  Lots of Facebook posts and friends being unfollowed by Raymond so that he could keep me from seeing them and going into a depressed state.  Hot flashes out of this world from the meds I was on.  Bruises on my hip from the booster shots and on my arm from blood work.  Many miles put on my car going back and fourth to my doctors 45 minutes away.  Hours and hours of me praying and asking when will it be my turn.  Weeks of bible study learning my worth and how to give it to God.  Learning that I was 1 in 4 women that go thought this.  Learning the other women I knew that was also 1 in 4.  My journey to have Connor was the hardest most rewarding journey I have and will ever be on.  I learned to not give up on a dream.  To trust in God’s plans for you.  From the time we decided to start trying for a baby to the time we finally had Connor, Raymond and I changed and grow up so much.  We learned lots of things about each other.  We came out of it stronger.  We became the best parents we can be for Connor.  The journey we took showed us to appreciate every moment that comes along on our new journey.  

Every couples journey to have kids is different.  Some are fast and happen on the first try.  Some takes years. Some lead to adoption. Sadly some lead to no wheres.  Whatever your path is know you are not the only one.  Reach out to someone you know that has or is going through it.  Not sure you know someone, find a support group on social media.  Talk to a friend or a pastor.  Don’t keep it to yourself. 

I hope that this helps at lest one woman! That it shows her that she is not alone. No matter if your journey is short or long that it’s not just you. There is always someone you can turn too.

So I’m doing this little gift guide for little boys but you can get most of it for little girls too. I’m using things that Connor already has or what I want to get him soon. We went small with his Christmas this year because he is only 2 and lets face it he has so much all ready. We have be very fortunate to have been gifted the big items we were going to get him from some amazing friends, and our families spoils him. This gift guide will also work for Birthdays and Easter.

This blog post contains affiliate links.

1. Play Kitchen – Step2 has so many different models and price ranges to choose from. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00D9OMW9G/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00D9OMW9G&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=48404f6b5c2e4531ad14f20c7ac8523f
2. Outside Play Set – Step2 has so many different models and price ranges to choose from. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PXFBLZ6/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07PXFBLZ6&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=641d97900adbf82724c966889ff5d0ae
3. Battery Powered Electric Vehicle – There is lots of different brands and models to choose from. The ones with the parent remote makes for easy stop and control. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07YS3MY9C/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07YS3MY9C&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=4c926ba636d92364363f0369fb671120
4. Nuff Guns – Lots of different models and price ranges to choose from. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07JXNCCWJ/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07JXNCCWJ&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=c43f2c040edeb031208349de2dbb45c1
5. Hot Wheels – From cars for $0.98 to the biggest of tracks. There is so many different ways you can go. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N7XH9UU/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B01N7XH9UU&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=f40f71f7f164391340f4d15b64b8f9b9
6. Fisher-Price Little People – These are the best! You can find so many different styles. Connor is getting Toy Story ones this year but he has the tractor, airplane, firetruck and a zoo wagon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DK5J1L9/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07DK5J1L9&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=a0bbedd6ebb2c12c0fee573d707b3998
7. Strider 2-in-1 Rocking Bike, for Ages 6 Months to 5 Years https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B079ZLMJ39/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B079ZLMJ39&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=d3e078a53d41eb2225a62d26c4a5455e
8. Tonka Classic Steel Trucks. – Lots of different models to choose from. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07D9GR794/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07D9GR794&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=ce1e4c7bffd9b38522d44bd5a9c67192
9. Dyson Ball Vacuum – now they can help clean up the mess they make. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004V3PS72/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B004V3PS72&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=5a9d6aa1a285aaf58aa8805d0a16f0e4
10. Flexible Track Playset – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07S6FDHPN/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07S6FDHPN&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=20a78634420cd2744f7a3a216d6ae4ce

This guide is all things I have and love or things I would love to get. As a kid I know I would have looked at my mom like she was crazy for some of the things on this list but as an adult and a mom sometimes it’s the things we need that would be the best gift. Now don’t get me wrong jewelry is always welcome lol but you know a robot that vacuums my floor would just make my day earlier lol. I hope that this small list helps out!!

This blog post contains affiliate links. 

1. The Beachwaver Curling Irons is by far the best curling iron I have ever owned or used in my life!!! My curls hold for days and its super easy to use!! Use my code: KENDRAWAVE at check to save 10% beachwaver.glg9ob.net/kendrawave
2. Kendra Scott Jewelry – She has so many amazing pieces to choose from my favorite is the Elisa Pendant Necklace and the Ellie Gold Stud Earrings. https://www.kendrascott.com/jewelry/categories/all-jewelry/
3. The Loopy Cases are my all time favorite case ever. I’ve had them for my last 3 phones and will keep going back to them!! Lots of colors and styles for so many different brands and models of smart phones. https://www.loopycases.com/
4. My Ring Light is one of my favorite things I bought this year! It works amazing for picture and videos. When I’m doing my makeup it gives me that bight light i need to make sure my sink looks normal and smooth! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LXDNNBW/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B01LXDNNBW&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=c68d381996a3623e0791f4c9545a7fd8
5. ‘ELLIS’ CLASSIC OVER THE KNEE SUEDE LEATHER BOOTS – are a must!!! I looked for over 10 years for a pair of Over the Knee Boots that would stay up on my small legs and these are them.  They feel amazing and look so fine.  I need them in EVERY COLOR!  They come in black, gray, and tan.  https://www.goodnightmacaroon.co/collections/best-sellers/products/ellis-black-classic-over-the-knee-suede-leather-boots
6. Ginny Leather Crossbody Bag – This bag has been on my wish list forever now. I will get it one day – on day when I no longer need to carry 50 million things with me lol. https://www.michaelkors.com/ginny-leather-crossbody-bag/_/R-US_32F7GGNM8L?color=2774
7. This Dyson Lightweight Cordless Stick Vacuum Cleaner is all over the place right now. I used my friends the other day and boy do I want one now. Different models and prices to choose from. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0798FVV6V/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0798FVV6V&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=edc7b76300f924649e93d9e62f16fd08
8. You can’t go wrong with a comfy pull over! There is a lot to choose from but these are a great price!! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VMDKMNZ/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07VMDKMNZ&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=6edce4cb017c10817922f6ef90337880
9. Revlon One-Step Hair Dryer & Volumizer Hot Air Brush is on just about every girl I know wish list this season. And why not? https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LSUQSB0/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B01LSUQSB0&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=3a8ff9ff6e743e80f0d15139216c98dd
10. The iRobot Roomba Robot Vacuum is the one gift that would make my day to day easier!! They have different models for a cheaper price! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01ID8H6NO/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B01ID8H6NO&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=e5cd9fb0b1932d1d4e40dc084263f170
11. Comfy PJ sets are always a great go to for those you are not sure what to get!!https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075LCGF99/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B075LCGF99&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=d8c83a6e2c35c11150c8eff40f713799
12. We already have the Echo Dot (3rd Gen) – Smart speaker with Alexa – and we love it! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PGL2N7J/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07PGL2N7J&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=34d0050c323daad617ae10a8e018b210
13. I really want to get Echo Show 5 – Compact smart display with Alexa this year. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07HZLHPKP/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07HZLHPKP&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=03453dc716e1b71ff48d0dd50c0e1475
14. The peace of mind knowing that you have a camera at your home is the best feeling. With the Ring Doorbell camera I can see who is at my house and even see what my family is doing when they are outside playing. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B072QLXK2T/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B072QLXK2T&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=51e48c7b4c638ad47767609b5993e67c
15. You can never go wrong with a gift card. Favorite store to shop at for herself. Go see her hairstylist and one for her next cut and color. Coffee lover could use a few cups on you. The possibilities are endless.
16. The last gift there is no link to it. Every mom and wife would love a few Honey-Dos Coupons. You know things like – a back rub, things done around the house, kid free afternoon, date night, and anything you know your wife or mom needs done.

If the man or men in your life are anything like mine they are the hardest ones to buy for! Raymond and my dad are not sports fans in any way. They are both very hands on kind of guys, that includes Raymond’s uncle. All three of them just go out and buy whatever it is they want during the year. I am always racking my brain as to what I should get them. These items I’m about to share are all things I have gotten them in the past. I hope that this helps out some way. I know it’s not a whole lot of ideas but I do know that these things they did love.

This post is not sponsored or affiliated with the brands or stores I link them too. These are just where I have brought them from in the past. Any sale prices I post are as of today (12/6/2019) The prices are subjected to change at any moment.

**This blog post contains affiliate links!

1.DEWALT 20-Volt Max 2-Tool Power Tool Combo Kit with Soft Case (2-Batteries Included and Charger Included) – On sale right now for $149 https://www.lowes.com/pd/DEWALT-20-Volt-Max-2-Tool-Power-Tool-Combo-Kit-with-Soft-Case-2-Batteries-Included-and-Charger-Included/50169133

2. DEWALT 8-Volt 1/4-in Cordless Screwdriver (1-Battery Included and Charger Included) – On sale right now for $59 https://www.lowes.com/pd/DEWALT-8-Volt-1-4-in-Cordless-Screwdriver-1-Battery-Included-and-Charger-Included/1000343187

3. DEWALT 20-volt Max Cordless Jobsite Radio Bluetooth Adapter – On sale right now for $199 https://www.lowes.com/pd/DEWALT-20-volt-Max-Cordless-Jobsite-Radio-Bluetooth-Adapter/1000136259

4. Utilitech 1000-Watt Halogen Stand Work Light – Priced at $39.98 https://www.lowes.com/pd/Utilitech-1000-Watt-Halogen-Stand-Work-Light/999976670

5. **Rechargeable Flashlight, Spriak Magnetic Flashlights with Clip (Included Battery), Side Work Light, Bright, Zoomable Pocket EDC Flashlight for Camping, Hiking, Home Power Outage. The link will open to the 2 pack but there is a 1 piece there to choose from as well. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07X74ZPKZ/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07X74ZPKZ&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=8d7f54223d33ea42e114890895921f73

6. **Craftsman 450-Piece Mechanic’s Tool Set – Priced at $221.78 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077BW8S66/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B077BW8S66&linkCode=as2&tag=southernmamao-20&linkId=7a7983237076f43a9b024ada9fa79864

7. Corona ExtendedREACH Extendable-handle tool Weeder -Priced at $12.98 https://www.lowes.com/pd/Corona-ExtendedREACH-Extendable-handle-tool-Weeder/1000384771

8. YETI Rambler 14 oz DuraCoat Mug – Multiple Colors – Priced at $24.99 https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/yeti-rambler-14-oz-duracoat-mug#repChildCatid=5140576

9. Game Winner 2-Man Ladder Treestand 2.0 – On sale for $79.99 https://www.academy.com/shop/pdp/game-winner-2-man-ladder-treestand-20#repChildCatid=7173569

10. VP Racing 5-Gallon Motorsport Racing Liquid Jug Can Container & 14-Inch Hose – $35.99 – You can find them in different colors! https://www.walmart.com/ip/VP-Racing-5-Gallon-Motorsport-Racing-Liquid-Jug-Can-Container-14-Inch-Hose/317265803?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1187&adid=22222222227290354350&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=350589283827&wl4=pla-747896163288&wl5=9025167&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=112549749&wl11=online&wl12=317265803&veh=sem&gclid=CjwKCAiAlajvBRB_EiwA4vAqiO7XlRPhPB3RuY-C2V-22vbRNGiRc9RwoO955BQuY4QsWif-0-GKzhoC_rcQAvD_BwE

Y’all I am over the MOON EXCITED to announce that I will now be working with Beachwaver Co. You can use my code: KENDRAWAVE at check out to save 10%.

If you haven’t heard of them you are missing out. They sale the best curling iron (personal and pro), styling iron, hair care, bushes, accessories, and lots more.

I love my S1 curling iron!! It the best hair tool I have ever used. I have super Thick Fine Hair! Yes you read that right, my hair is both thick and fine at the same time. Curls usually never hold. But not when I use my beachwaver, my curls last of days.

Its so easy to use as well!! I hated curling my hair with a normal iron and the wands was not for me at all. I would always go the wrong way and have this weird flip thing on the end of my hair. Not with my S1 you just clip the end of your hair and press the arrow pointing away from your face. Unclip and hit the home button then repeat all over your hair. See super easy!!! They are lot of barrel sizes to fit every hair length and style. They offer Certified Open Box Beachwaver at a discounted price. When a Beachwaver iron is returned, they open each box and each iron passes a quality assurance inspection. The irons may be cosmetically imperfect, but are certified good as new!  You can’t bet that!!

Go check them out. I promise you will love them!! beachwaver.glg9ob.net/kendrawave

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This blog post contains affiliate links.

I’m going to try a little something different today!!! So I went to Old Navy and tried on a few things. Some I loved and brought, others I put back lol. So sorry the pictures are bad. I total forgot to take pictures of each outfit when I had them on so I had to screen shot the videos haha. I will put the normal prices under each picture. All jeans and outer wear are 50% off right now!! These would make great holiday outfits. Black Friday and Cyber week is coming up and the sales will be great then too. The video is saved in my highlights on my Instagram page (https://www.instagram.com/southernmamaofone17/)

Have you ever been told you aren’t the person you used to be? Have you ever felt like you lost yourself along the way in life? Do you just feel like something is missing in your life?

The person I am today I can now admit that I was lost long before I even realized  I was.  I was lost in being a wife way before I ever even thought of becoming a mom. I was so forced on working on my marriage, we went through a very hard. We were growing up and had to make major life decisions to better us and our future family. When we where finally in a great place again we had decided to finally begin our family and that didn’t go as we planed at all. (I promise I’ll write more on that soon its a whole blog by itself)  

The stress of trying to start a family and going through years of it just not happening was starting to really take its tole on me and who I was becoming.

At the end of September 2014 I found out I was finally pregnant.  Within 48 hours of finding out I was already starting to miscarry that baby.  That was the worst time for me in my life. I was depressed for months.  I was LOST. I would stay in bed.  I didn’t know why it had to happen to me.  What did I do wrong.  What was the lesson I was meant to learn from this?  Raymond, my family and my friends were very supportive throughout this time. 

Two weeks before Christmas (that same year) I woke up and just felt the need to go to church.  I got dressed and went to the church that I had grow up in.  This was the start of me finding myself again.  I went back slowly at first and then more and more.  After a while I joined a new women’s bible study. That was the beginning of me really starting to see that either I was lost. Or was I changing?

It started to get easier when I would hear that someone else I knew was pregnant.  A few years pasted and we were still trying to have a baby. I was trying to not let the the medicine get the best of me because it had in the past.  We had talk about adoption and even got a last minute call asking if we wanted to adopt a set of twin boy,  but who has the amount that they wanted for adoption just laying around.  Not us for sure, this just throw me right back into my depression. I had to really fight now to let myself get lost again. I had come so far.  Then a few shorts months laters we found out we were pregnant!

Pregnancy was the best and was so easy and natural for me.  I was coming into myself for sure.  After Connor was born in September 2017. I truly was in the happiest time of my life.  Being a mom was the best and I was made to be a mom. I nursed him for a little over a year.  I had gotten my happiness back for sure.  But was I back to being myself or was I becoming the next new me?

My New Year goal for 2019 was to get back to being not just a wife and a mom but to being me.  I started taking care of myself more.  I got my hair cut and colored, and I got a facial. I really started to feel like me again. Finally I went clothes shopping for myself to get spring and summer clothes that would fit me.  It felt nice to get dressed and ready.  I was never really a make up person.  I never really had to wear it for work or anything so I used to only wear it to church or if we had some place to go.  I began to try out new things and found that wearing makeup made me feel I was put together and cute. Even Raymond began to see that I was happier when I would spend the time to fix myself like I call it lol.  That lead to my Instagram page and now this blog. I find that with me being a happier person that it has lead to my family being happy. I’ve also learned to speak my mind about things that are bring me back down. If I’m happy and in a great mood it helps put Connor and Raymond in a happy mood too.

I need to remind myself that I am still me. Taking my Fridays while Connor is at school to just myself or to spent time with Raymond when he is home is a great help.  I can’t say that I won’t fall back into that rut but I can say that I will try to not go back.  I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again.  Being a mom is a full time job and you have to remember not to get lost in it.  I try to treat myself to a $6 coffee at lest once a week.  Don’t have the extra money? Not a problem use your treat yourself as time. Your time is special, even if it’s just a relaxing bath after the little ones are asleep. I love looking at other mom’s stories about how they deal with the day to day struggle of being a mom.  It my time to myself after Connor is asleep.  This blog has also become something I look forward to doing.  I know this is only the third one but taking the time to write out ideas of what I want to talk about and different points to put in it is very peaceful. Sharing things I use, a sale I find,  or just want is going on in our life on Instagram is quickly becoming a daily thing that I love to do. I recently did a giveaway and I had so much fun with it.  I got to show my followers my bubbly side. I love when people I’ve known for years stop me and tell me that they see me changing and how happy I’ve been lately.  Those small simple compliments make me feel so great and really helps me to know I am on the right path.

Finding yourself will not be the same path I had.  I found mind was when I gave it all to God.  I prayed about it and He pointed me down the road I’m on today.  I’m hoping that my path will lead me down new roads with my blog and Instagram.  My biggest hope is my path will lead my family down a road of loving, fun, great family memories for years to come.  Your path will be different from mine and that’s not wrong its just your path.  You’ll find different ways to help guide you back to yourself.  Keep in mind that when you are happy your family will be happy as well.  Find what is right for you and your family.  No matter the stage you are in: trying to be a mom, new mom, full swing mom, empty nest mom, or grandma.  If you are lost reach out to someone and really try to find your happy again. 

So the question still remains, was I lost or was I changing?  I say it is both.  I was lost in so many ways, but being lost changed me.  I am still me.  I am still that loud, fun, loving, caring, hard working person.  Just know I’m a little happier, stronger, and more put together.